It took years and many occurences to realize that being happy isn’t my life purpose. It’s also wrong thinking to put happiness on something you attain and someone you have in your life. You should be content with yourself without having to wait for a big thing to come. You have to be happy with yourself without looking forward to somebody to save you from loneliness and void you feel within yourself. I know it sounds cruel to state this stuff but I believe we all have gone through the moments we depend our definition of happiness on our achievement or the one we loved the most.
You may perceive that is the only way to find out how happiness really works. On the other hand, you still do not really understand what the meaning of happiness to you so far. A lot of times, you are still searching for happiness outside yourself. You are never sure of being happy alone with yourself as the main character you need to play the main role in your life. So, whenever you lose something or somebody, you will feel there is one thing missing out from yourself when you are already whole before and after anything.
To my mind, I don’t make happiness as one of my purposes in life. If I do that, I may be thinking to pursue it until the end of time then I could never feel enough and satisfied with what I already have. For the worst possibility, I may never find a happiness because happiness is something you can’t see but you can sense its presence in and around yourself. Thus whenever I get something good happens to me, I won’t consider it as happiness but one of many blessings I should be grateful for due to my hard work. Even if I never ask for that thing to occur sooner or later.
I conceive the fact that I can’t have everything I want and I can’t enforce everyone I want to be my person. As long as I enjoy my own company and I do what I like, that is happiness to me and I should build my inner peace and happiness without seeking the other reasons from something and somebody else but myself. You will go astray if you always quest for happiness outside yourself until you find way back to yourself and discover that being happy is never a purpose or dream but it is the feeling you should create constantly and independently regardless of everything you have or you desire a lot.
